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My first year in the Air Force, I was 21. I had a cute
Polish girlfriend, Natalia Kosciolek. There were a lot of Polish families that
had immigrated to Nebraska, and many of them were quite attractive. But the
culture came with them. If you wanted to date them, you had to meet their
families, and also attend their festivities. Our first date was to a reception
after a wedding in which Polish music was played and people danced.
I felt very out of place, although all were very
friendly. I left soon after this dancing challenge.
There was disappointment on Natalia's face. I was just too
young at that time to "get it." It was a whole new world.
She asked me why I had to go "so soon"
I said something I can't remember – an excuse about having
something I had to do. It was obviously not true.
She walked me to the door. I saw her smile diminish, and
a sad look wash over her, and that really made me feel just awful, because I
really liked her.
I probably should have stayed. One of those regrets we
have from youth.
She later called me and said, "My mother had told
me, 'Don't invite your GI boyfriend on a first date to a Polish affair, because
it might be just too much,' scare you off; did it?"
I replied, "Well, Natasha, I really like you, but, I
just don't fit into all that. Yes, I think it scared me off a bit, the music,
the dancing, the camaraderie. I don't know how I could be accepted."
We still had a few date-dates after that. But, it was the
remembrance of a culture I felt alien to, that I knew was waiting for me around
the corner, if anything were to come of this.
Ironically, one year later, I ended up marrying a Polish
girl. And, her grandfather told me many interesting and terrifying events of
his family's escape to America from Poland during German occupation.
***
I read the above on the page of Rusty Walker, a Facebook
friend. It's a short, bittersweet reminiscence. I was struck by how poignant it
is, though short. I was also struck by how Rusty conveys the cultural differences
he encountered when he intermingled with Polish-Americans. With Rusty's
permission I post his story here.
Rusty says that the song he danced to may be this one.
Rusty says that the song he danced to may be this one.
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| Rusty Walker |
Reading through this, I smiled through the entire story and your comments. Yes, it was bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteI have matured into a great admirer of all cultures now. I research and enjoy the different folk music that comes with it. Many of those early historical folk melodies are found influencing other cultures down through the ages.
Keep your hands off our Polish women
ReplyDeleteMagdalena Pasnikowska offers this comment:
ReplyDeleteI really don't know what to think For one, I am Polish and come from Poland, so I don't see anything weird or exotic about myself at all; on the other hand, from what I can see, Pol-Am culture has evolved differently than "mainland Poland" so to speak, and would probably seem a bit alien to me were I to immerse myself in it... All in all, I read the blog post but I can't really understand it, because what actually freaked our protagonist out is left implied, and I don't get the underlying context. Why would a Polish wedding reception scare anybody? The Polish wedding receptions I have attended were rather harmless affairs; there must be something you Polish Americans keep a deep dark secret!