Source |
A Jewish Boy At
Auschwitz - Random Memories Of An Accidental Visitor.
"Hey, let's visit Auschwitz tomorrow," said one
of the group leaders. We were standing in the Krakow train station, having just
come back from the Wielicka salt mines. Trying to figure out what to do next
day, we examined the placards showing trains running in all directions, and one
of us noticed a familiar name. Auschwitz looked like an interesting
destination, so everyone agreed.
We were on a student exchange of sorts, in the summer of
1973. Our group was made of 24 Romanian students. Our peer group was made of 24
Polish students, from an engineering faculty similar to ours. It worked like
this: the Polish students came to Romania for a fortnight, on vacation. We
arranged accommodation for them in student dorms which were unused in summer.
The warm sands of the Black Sea did not disappoint.
Then, all 48 of us travelled together to Poland. But of
course, we took a detour. I was the only Hungarian-speaker among them, but
somehow managed to get accommodation in Budapest, for 48 students for 4 nights,
overlooking the Danube. We've been less lucky in Prague, where we ended up
sleeping in a railway carriage at the main station. There was relative freedom
in our arrangements, as much as communism allowed for it. In Poland, we were
traveling freely, needing only occasional help from our hosts. They arranged
the accommodation and food, and it was up to us what to do.
Next day, as agreed, we took the westward train from
Krakow and arrived at Auschwitz station. Without speaking the language, we
found our way towards the museum. We passed a row of 20 different flags,
arranged in an impressive arc. We all found the familiar flags: Romanian,
Hungarian, Polish, German, etc. I was just standing there, looking, and
looking. My close friend asked:
What are you looking at, Andrei ?
Oh, nothing, I am just looking for the Israeli flag.
I was 22 at the time, and I grew up with low expectations
about acceptability and legitimacy. Other nations would hold their heads up
high. I was to stay silent. But a second colleague picked up my thought, and
asked the guide:
How come there is no Israeli flag ?
There were no Israeli citizens among the victims here.
The answer was logically correct. Aimed at our
engineering heads, no one could object. We looked at each other, then we moved on.
We passed through the rooms filled with shoes, or hair. There were lists of
names. I could not find my grandmother, Sarah Weiss, but I did not expect the
list to have the names of all 3 million people who perished at Auschwitz.
Out in the open again, the tourist trail led us to a
shrine or something like that. I'm not sure what it actually was. There was a
queue outside, perhaps 40 people, so we joined in waiting, without further
questions. Soon, we noticed two men, in black robes, walking along both sides
of the queue. They were taking the names of everyone in the queue, and putting
together some kind of a list. We were watching what was going on ahead of us.
The priests, as they turned out to be, asked every
visitor about his or hers religion. Communication wasn't perfect, because the
foreigners didn't speak Polish. Everyone had approximate knowledge of other
languages: German, French, English, Russian. No problem, tourists and their
guides quickly become experts in using body language to talk. The priests put
on a severe, motionless face, when they heard from a group of German tourists
that they were of Lutheran faith.
Then, they got closer to us. First, they asked a lanky
Romanian colleague about his religion. The question itself was a bit unusual
for us. It was communism. We were studying computers and automation. At age 22,
few of us cared about religion, but we had awareness of ancestry. So, my
colleague answered he was Greco-Catholic. The priests indicated this is half
right. Not the best, but passable - was the verdict on their face. Next in line
were Orthodox Romanians. The priests looked irritated and they did not make any
effort to hide it. Quite the opposite, their faces spoke of strong negativity.
Soon their expression softened somewhat, when they found out we were not
Russians.
The process was getting closer, and there was no escape. Everyone
had to be on the list. A few more facial expressions followed, as my
Transylvanian colleagues said they were either Unitarian or Calvinist. Finally,
it was my turn. It was a difficult moment for me. Under the pressure of the
moment, I said in German:
vielleicht ein Rabbiner (perhaps a rabbi)
The priests took a sudden step backwards, as if bitten by
a snake. The one on the right, more senior, had red eyes and bulging veins on
his forehead. They were both in genuine distress, gasping for air.
"No, no" - they said, in various languages. "No
way"
Their arms were moving, their bodies were shaking, while
they were repeating: "No, no, nein". They used all available
languages to pass on the meaning to us, and we used all our comprehension to
pick it up. The process took some time, and a circle of Romanians formed around
the two revolted priests.
This was the moment when my Romanian colleagues exploded.
I know how they felt, and we talked about it, both before, and after this
incident. Romania is the Balkans. It's natural and beautiful, but undeveloped. My
colleagues were going through a humiliating experience, as country after
country seemed more developed, more clean, more civilised than their homeland.
Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Poland - they all seemed superior, out of the home
league. And then, unexpectedly, they found the chink in the armour of Europe. There
was no rabbi at Auschwitz.
Suddenly, the oh-so-developed world looked less bright.
The graceful bridges over the Danube may enchant at Budapest. The Old City of
Prague may speak of Middle Age glory. At the Krakow Castle, gold may flow like
river. But look, there is no rabbi at Auschwitz.
The language skills were insufficient to express fine
nuances, but body language was unmistakable. Spit to the ground. The eyes of
the priests turned more red, their anger was palpable. There was no physical
contact. Quite the opposite, everyone took a step backward, to make space for
big theatrical gestures expressing contempt and displeasure.
I started to feel uncomfortable, right there in the
middle. So, I quietly moved away. This was not my fight, but in a way it felt
good to have some solidarity on my side. After a few minutes, we left the
scene, without ever finding out what the shrine was about.
I'm not reading too much into this story. It's just an
episode. It's important to remember, that I wasn't part of any Jewish
organisation at the time. There was no Jewish capital pressing the case. No
bankers, no governments. Just a Jewish boy at Auschwitz.
By Andrew Schonberger
***
Response by D Goska
I "met" Andrew through Facebook. I love his
posts. He is very smart and full of interesting stories, well told. I love his
reflections on life in Mittleeuropa. My dad was Polish, my mother Slovak, with
cultural ties to Hungary. She had also worked for Jews and was friends with
many Jews. She dropped Yiddish phrases and cooked Jewish dishes. My
grandmother's second husband was Lithuanian. I'm not one of those "All
Poland all the time" Polonians. I appreciate the music, embroidery, food, and
history of many Central Europeans.
Andrew reflects that big embrace.
I invited Andrew to contribute to this blog.
"What?" he asked.
"Anything" I responded. Andrew writes so well
and he has so much to say.
When I read this contribution, I was troubled. The simple
truth is I am doubtful about Andrew's depiction of the priests. I've met a fair
number of Polish priests, and I've never had an encounter like the one
described here. I have not met Polish priests who go through a werewolf-like
transformation when they encounter Jews.
No, I'm not Jewish, but I am often assumed to be Jewish,
including by Poles, and including by one Polish priest. He was nice to me. No
werewolf transformation. No red eyes, no bulging veins, no gasping for air.
When I read Andrew's story, above, I remembered something
that happened in Poland in 1998 when I was there for the "Ashkenaz, Theory
and Nation" conference.
I was with about five Jewish scholars. We had gone out to
dinner in Kazimierz. Mind: these were scholars. Tenured. At prestigious
universities. Opinion makers.
A great deal of the conversation centered around Jewish
victimization at the hands of non-Jews. No argument – there is plenty of fodder
for such a conversation. Yes, there were pogroms in Poland after WW II. Yes,
many Polish non-Jews did many bad things.
It's interesting, though, that we really didn't talk
about much of anything else. Anyone "just arriving from Mars" and
overhearing our conversation would certainly have enough data to conclude that
Jews are nothing but victims, and Polish and other non-Jews are never anything
but victimizers.
Later, we walked around Kazimierz, and back toward
Krakow's stare miasto, or old town.
We were standing against a wall of one of the ancient
buildings and some Poles passed. One of scholars said, "There. Did you
hear that? Those young thugs just cursed us out and said horrible, anti-Semitic
things about us."
I stared at her. "What?"
She insisted. The young men who had just passed us, who
had looked like garden variety young men to me, to her, were thugs. Their
words, which I had heard as nothing of any import, were certainly anti-Semitic
threats.
I had heard no such thing. Nothing. Nothing that even
sounded like the word "Jew" in Polish.
There were no cameras. There were no audio recording
devices. Almost twenty years have passed. Those young men are middle-aged now. "So
we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
I love Andrew's writing and am honored to include on this
blog anything Andrew cares to contribute, now and in the future.
Yes, the Nazis' anti-Semitism was certainly disguised by
the Soviets who dominated Poland after WW II. And as soon as Poles ousted the
Soviets in 1989, they began correcting their history, including at Auschwitz. The
Nazis' focus on the Jews was brought forward, as it should be.
But these priests? I doubt them. Andrew is certain of
them.
"People are always shouting they want to create a
better future. It's not true. The future is an apathetic void of no interest to
anyone. The past is full of life, eager to irritate us, provoke and insult us,
tempt us to destroy or repaint it. The only reason people want to be masters of
the future is to change the past. They are fighting for access to the
laboratories where photographs are retouched and biographies and histories
rewritten."
Milan Kundera The
Book of Laughter and Forgetting 1979
***
Here is Andrew's response to my response:
***
Here is Andrew's response to my response:
Searching through memory, further details come back.
There was to be a series of religious services in that shrine, in memory of the
relatives of visitors. The priests were organising the services, so they had to
know what kind of prayers each visitor whished for. This gives a practical
context to the events.
Also, there is no proof the people running the list were
priests. If you are a non-religious person, living in non-religious times, and
you see two men in long black robes with large crosses on their chest - well,
you assume they would be priests. At any rate, they were probably not too not
high in the hierarchy. Senior figures don't do open-air duty, organising the
crowd by denomination.
Credit goes to Danusha Goska for providing the blog for
publishing this and the air of cooperative debate to comment on this. My mother
tongue is Hungarian, my entire schooling is Romanian, my army duty is Hebrew,
my life's work is in English. I live in Australia and I don't write much
outside my personal Facebook page. Yet, I'm finding myself responding with
great pleasure to Danusha's invitation to contribute to the development of
Polish Jewish relations. It's a compliment to the owner of this blog.